On dealing with telemarketers

I hang up on them. Not rudely at all. I don't rant and rave or swear at them (even if I'm at home alone and no one knows I'm a pastor). But I hang up on them.

This is how I do it:

If I feel like I'd be marginally interested in the product, I say: Please send me a catalog.

If they won't, or if I'm not interested at all, I simply interrupt the caller and say: "I'm not interested. Thank you for your time."

And I hang up. No more words, no waiting for the telemarketer to agree that this conversation is over, nothing.

The reason I do it this way follows:

A polite conversation has a mutually agreed upon ending. It happens when both parties acknowledge that the conversation is ending. It must be initiated by one party, but concluded by both.

Telemarketers know this. They know that it takes two to conclude a polite conversation. They know that the callers will also share this assumption.

Therefore, their rule is: Do not let the conversation end. There will always be an answer, a question, a rejoinder, a refusal to acknowledge that you are attempting to end the conversation. Those who have been brought up to be polite will follow the rules they have learned, and will not hang up on someone.

If I know they are not playing by the rules of polite conversation, I am free to take action. I am free to terminate the conversation on my own, knowing that they will never agree that the conversation is over. I do this not because I am impolite, but because the rules are different than normal. And I do it without anger and without guilt.

I do not think I am being uncharitable. Indeed, perhaps I am being most charitable by not wasting their valuable time. And I am never verbally abusive or even surly. I often am friendly.

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